Feels Like Arcadia
by Singe
Summary: -On Hiatus- The destruction of the school was the only thing that brought us together, that gave us a reason to live. Now that it has fallen, burned to the ground, what do we have to live for? What could possibly be left?
1. First

Author's Note: Inspired by the recent creation of an X-Day category (if you haven't read it and have just wandered in to see what I'm wasting my time one now…go find a Barnes&Noble and read it, or better yet, buy it.) as well as to further annoy my readers, I have randomly decided to write another story. Go me! Updates will be sporadic at best since I have other fics I have to rewrite/finish/work on, which is difficult in itself since I have a rather large and tiring workload for school, am currently looking to A) find a job or B) start a cosplay business. If I manage to accomplish either, you won't be seeing me often.

Oh, and just a little, warning: this is going to be AU (obvious once you start reading), so things are going to be different than in the series.

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Day, its characters, and anything else I might mention that belongs to someone else. Hell, even if it's not selling the best, if I created it I wouldn't be wasting my time paying to go to conventions…I'd be harassing staff members to be a special guest…not that I don't already…err…ignore that part.

Title: Feels Like Arcadia  
Chapter: First  
By: Singe  
Rating: PG-13

The world was burning around me, an inferno of the deepest red, the brightest gold, and the purest, coldest blue. The others are around…somewhere. Each of us had gone to a different section of the school; perhaps subconsciously, each of us had gone to the place we hated the most. Not that you can tell the difference between anything anymore. All that remains is flame.

Somehow, that makes it all the more surreal, all the more perfect. It's beautiful.

For as long as we have talked of this, have planned for it, I've always pictured the school becoming a pile of rubble. The bomb in the science wing had gone off first. Apparently some of the chemicals caught fire and the flames began to spread throughout the building. When the other explosions occurred, the flame was already rapidly spreading, ravenously consuming all that lay in its path. I think I heard 11 laughing as the flames spread to the track field.

It's hard to hear anything, even, as clichéd as it sounds, myself. But that's okay; that was part of the reason I went along with this. I need to escape from my mind just as much as I need to escape from this mediocre life. The four of us each has our own reasons for wanting the destruction of this school, but in reality, I think we're all just running, or at least, trying to. None of us wants to admit it of course, so no one will ever point it out, no one will ever state the obvious. We're all scared, we're all hurt, and we all just want to be able to feel something, anything again.

The flames are drawing closer, warming my skin with almost painful warmth. It reminds me of water, of sakura petals. It reminds me of my mother.

"No," I shout into the smoke filled air. "This has nothing to do with her. This is the destruction of that life, of the past! I'm not that person anymore…I…"

Unable to find the words to describe the emotion bubbling within me, I fall silent. And then I realize the words I had spoken to the inferno were true; I was no longer who I had been that day I had been scarred. I wasn't the same person I had been an hour ago, when we put the bombs in place.

Contemplating that thought, I stood amidst the flames, watching as the building was turned to ash around me. I would have to leave soon, or else the building would collapse and drag me down to hell with it. But still…how had I changed? What could have destroying this building done that would allow me to say, to feel such things?

There was a crash as a section of the roof collapsed inward feet away from where I stood. Perhaps…it wouldn't be so bad to stay, a part of me whispered. It's not like anyone would really notice, and the police wouldn't look for the others, just assume that I had planted the bombs and was caught in the explosion.

"Mr. Money!" a voice yelled from the other side of the maelstrom. It was one of the girls, but it was impossible to tell which. "The rest of us are leaving; the cops and firefighters are on the way. X-Day was a success. We should celebrate before we go our separate ways. That is, unless you want to stay here."

After a moment, I could discern the slight sound of an approaching siren. And then it was time to make my choice: allow the ethereal flame to destroy me, burn away the rest of my body, or continue to live, to try and find a semblance of existence. There was utter silence except the tranquil roar of the fire, and then I knew that was enough. I left the burning remains of the building that had once been a prison to so many.

The fire had purified me. It was that simple. Things would be different now. I was different now. And, if all else fails, we could always have another X-Day. Well, assuming that we weren't all arrested then imprisoned or committed.

The others are all standing together, waiting for me. The three of them look more alive than I've ever seen them, then I've ever seen anyone. Polaris is wearing one of her elaborate, somewhat creepy dresses. Her hair is slightly tangled and her normally pale face is even paler from the thin layer of dust that coats it. She's holding a stuffed animal, a hamster, as far as I can tell, and smiling broadly. Jangalian stands near-by, looking almost normal, if it weren't for the ash clinging to him and the twinkle in his eyes. 11 is off to the side and she is…she is…utterly beautiful, utterly perfect. Her clothes are disheveled and covered in soot, and a black smudge lies across one cheek like tribal war paint, but she is glowing, laughing in the face of the destruction we have caused. She is, it seems, the fire itself.

"Let's go back to my apartment and clean up," Jangalian spoke, breaking the relative silence.

We each make a motion of agreement and the four of us walk away from the Armageddon of our own making. Yes, I think, that's the perfect word for it. The destruction of that school destroyed the world that we had lived in, and now we were each emerging from the rubble of our lives, reborn and renewed.

The walk to the apartment takes longer than usual since we hide in the shadows from every police car and fire truck that rushed down the street, knowing that our appearances would surely hint that we had been involved. I don't mind; 11 is walking next to me. She is still glowing. I suppose we all are.

At the apartment we take our turns using the shower and changing into the spare sets of clothing we had left in the past. Nothing is said until it's time to begin our celebration.

"Where should we go?" 11 asks absentmindedly as she lounges on the couch.

"The restaurant," Polaris immediately answers.

"Restaurant?" I ask, unsure of which one she means; we've gone to many as a group while making our plans.

"The one where we first met," she says, her usual monotone not in place. For the love of God, she actually sounds somewhat happy. "Where it all began."

"I seem to remember it all began online, in a school chat room," Jangalian says lightly as he enters the room, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

"Details, details," she replies and slides off the desk on which she had been sitting. She smirks at him and he blushes very lightly. Oh, yeah, there is definitely something going on there. 11 and I glance at each other; she sees it too. When we both burst out laughing, the two both give us strange looks.

"Anyway," Jangalian says and gives a slight cough, "let's go. The restaurant should still be open, but I don't know for certain."

Those of us still sitting, 11 and myself, stand and we file at the door. Halfway down the first flight of steps, Polaris stops and turns around.

"Wait here," she says and quickly hurries up the stairs back toward the apartment, her layers of skirts ruffling as she moves; moments later, she returns with a plastic grocery bag. The three of us give her curious or confused looks and then she begins to explain.

"I almost forgot," she smiles and holds the bag up, "our victory dance, if you will."

"Ah," I can't help the small smirk from creeping onto my face, "I didn't know we had any left. I'm assuming that it's just the sparklers, since they didn't work as well for bombs?"

"Correct, Mr. Money."

"Well, then," 11 breaks in, "let's go eat and find some place to burn them!"

**O**0**O**0**O**0**O**

The restaurant is fairly empty at this time of night, but the patrons who are there are talking loudly, excitedly. News travels fast, it seems, especially when it's of unexplained mayhem.

"Well, no one is going to be surprised tomorrow," I mutter just loud enough so that they can hear me.

"It was terrorists!" one woman is screeching, "This is what we get for having connections to the United States!"

Her husband is half-heartedly trying to quite her, but seems far more interested in his coffee and meal. Thankfully, we're given a booth a ways away from them, but the booth behind ours' holds about as pleasant of company.

"Damn teenagers; hoodlums, all of them. What's this country coming to?" a man is saying loudly to his companions and shoots us a nasty look. One of his companions looks over at us, and once his eyes land on Jangalian, they narrow hatefully before he lets out a snort then smiles viciously.

"Well, what do you expect?" he says, raising his voice so that ignoring him isn't an option. "No one tries to control them, to guide them. No one tries to teachthem anything. Though I suppose in most cases, by the time the schools get a hold of them, it's already too late. Not that most of the teachers are much better than the students."

The implication was obvious, and Jangalian stiffens slightly, but only for a moment before he smiles widely. I can't help but wonder who the man is. Oh, well, I can always ask him about it later since neither of the girls appears to have been listening. Thankfully, the three men leave soon after we give our orders.

"It's rather odd to be here again, isn't it?" he begins. "I didn't even notice, but it seems we've been avoiding this place. I can't remember ever coming here except for our first meeting."

"I think you're right, I mean, I used to always come here before, but then after we all met…" 11 trails off and makes a vague gesture with her hand.

"It's probably better that we haven't come back here before now," Polaris says softly. "We weren't exactly discreet; anyone could have overheard anything. They still could."

The warning was rather blatant, and 11 looks slightly abashed and hurt for a moment since she had been speaking slightly louder than normal.

"It's not like anyone's paying attention to us. Hell, we have to speak loud so we can hear each other," the words slip from my mouth before I realize it. Why was I defending her over something so stupid? It is pretty loud in here, the rational part of my mind whispers while another, unnamed part simply tells me that the look in her eyes hurt more than anything my mother could ever do to me.

Polaris lets out a little laugh, then answers.

"True," she says simply and takes a sip from her strawberry milkshake. Yeah, just like the first time.

The conversation flows, changing topics frequently and seemingly at random. The diner slowly empties as time passes, until we are all that remain but the staff. The only interruption occurs when the yawning waitress brings the bill. Polaris pays for all of it without comment, despite our attempts to each pay our part.

We wander through the streets, no destination in mind other than the ideal of finding the perfect place to light the last of the X-Day fireworks. The sun is just beginning to rise when we find ourselves standing at the locked wrought iron gates leading to a local public garden. Without much thought, Jangalian and I scale the fence, then turn to help the others over. 11 offers Polaris a foot up, cupping her hands to form a step, which is somewhat graciously accepted. I'll never get why she loves those odd outfits so much. We catch her as she almost drops from the top of the fence and 11 appears nearly the same moment that Polaris's feet touch the ground.

None of us have been here before, so we don't know what we'll find. But that's all right since we don't know what it is we're looking for. The sun's rays are creating a massacre of color across the horizon when we reach a large fountain, surrounded on all sides by white roses.

"Perfect," Polaris speaks the thought that had occurred to us all and had lead us to stand frozen, side by side, facing the city. "You can still see the smoke," she adds after a moment, and to my surprise, you can. The sunrise that is usually only marred by the buildings is now interrupted by a steady river of silvery grey that rises from where our high school used to be.

The sparklers are handed out; a lighter is flicked, one, two, three, and then four times. Gold and purple, green and silver, burst into existence as the powder burns, and we stand in a silent circle. The mood is happy, but as the sparks begin to fade, we each realize that it's over. X-Day has come and gone; there is no need for any of us to be together any longer.

**O**0**O**0**O**0**O**

Ending Note: And there we go, chapter one is done. I started this intending on writing a simple one-shot, but then I figured, what the hell? Let's make it into multiple chapters instead of just the one. I don't think I'll be staying in the P.O.V. of Yumihiko, but, eh, we'll see. So, let me know what you think and if I've messed anything up (but keep in mind that this is AU).


	2. Second

Author's Notes: Woo Hoo, chapter 2! Sorry for the time between updates, but hey, I've been busy and still haven't updated Stuck Here On the Ground, Amidst the Tears of Heaven and Hell, and various other stories, or uploaded Ice, so be happy that I'm taking the time to write more for this fic. Actually, oddly enough, X-Day is a fun genre to write in, and I suddenly have a burning desire to write a humor fic mainly featuring Reiichi. Something like "All Reiichi Katano wanted was a cup of coffee. That was all, nothing fancy, just a cup of plain, normal, everyday coffee. Simple right? That is, unless you're a high school Biology teacher. Especially if you're a Biology teacher at this school." Or something like that… I have no idea why…eh. Moving on, I've decided that this story will continue on in Yumihiko's point of view, just to be different from my usual style.

Updates, as you may have guessed at this point, will be rather sporadic, as I have to fit them in among a myriad of other things, soon to include school as well. What are these things that could possible distract me? Well, let's see; personal cosplay, cosplay commissions, shiny objects, anime, manga, short attention span, school, various clubs and activities, writer's block, video games, possibly a normal job, friends, and whatever else pops up along the way, like my other stories (if hell freezes over on some of them .).

Having said that, I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed or emailed me and reminded me that I did, in fact, post this and I had better damn well update it or you'll have a panda chew out my spleen or something like that. Yay for readers who review! (That goes double for those whose review didn't involve a panda. )

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Day, any of its characters, or plot. I do however, lay claim to the altered plot that is used in this story, so ha!

Random Comment: There's nothing like an anime convention dance to prove why bathing should be done daily.

Title: Feels Like Arcadia  
Chapter: Second  
Rating: PG-13  
By: Singe

The four of us had walked in silence back to Jangalian's apartment building soon after the sparklers' had burned out, none being able to find the right words to describe the realization that had simultaneously been reached. We stood in silence for long moments in front of the building, and then 11 had spoken.

"This is the end then, I guess," she spoke softly and glanced nervously around at anything but us.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Polaris replied, her voice and expression remaining neutral.

"Well, then…" Jangalian began but was unable to finish the sentence, but it didn't matter; we all knew how it ended. We had from the start. We had started out as four strangers, four unassuming people that would never be considered as suspects, and we had planned to end it that way as well; none of us were supposed to mean anything to each other.

An uncomfortable silence stretched between us, a blanket that wrapped around each of us, slowly tightening so that I soon felt as if each breath required an absurd amount of effort to take.

"I suppose you'll want your things from the apartment. If you'll wait here, I'll be back shortly with each of your bags," Jangalian finally said, allowing his voice to become the calm, emotionless monotone that he used with other people, with his co-workers and students, the voice that he used with strangers.

"I'll help," Polaris said after a moment when his words had sunk into each of us like razor thin shards of ice that we all tried to ignore. Her voice left no room for argument, and Jangalian -- no, that wasn't right, he was just Mr. Katano now, the biology teacher -- nodded and stiffly turned to enter the building. Polaris frowned, her dark eyebrows drawing together in an expression I had never seen her wear before.

"I see," she said softly to herself and moved to follow him inside. It was strange, I thought, that I would be calling Jangalian "Mr. Katano", but still call Polaris "Polaris", not "Nanaka" or by her last name, "Shimada". But then again, Polaris hadn't reverted back to the person she usually was, the quite and seemingly shy girl who tried to blend into the crowd; she still had the same, occasionally abrasive, personality that she exuded as Polaris.

I couldn't help but wondering about 11. Was she still 11 or had she one again become "Rika"? And when had our screen names come to stand for a personality in my mind? Mulling over these thoughts, I glanced at the girl who had started it all. She had not spoken since we had lit the sparklers, and even then it had only been to comment how pretty they were. Currently, she was sitting on the brick wall that surrounded the apartment complex, head tilted to the side slightly as she stared into space. The morning light and the thin fog that filled the air, seemingly rising from the fresh morning dew, cast a fiery hue about her, giving her both the appearance of an ethereal being and that of an awakening demon. Something within me mourned for the fact that this may be the last time we were together, even if there was no real relationship between us.

"Ri-," I began, wishing to say something beautifully poetic, but unable to know how to start. Unable to even know what to call her.

She continued to slowly swing her legs back and forth in an unchanging beat, her eyes glazed over slightly as she gazed at nothing. I doubt she even knew I was there. After a moment, I moved to sit down next to her, resting my forearms on my legs as I stared down at the cement sidewalk beneath us. A few stray ants crawled frantically about, attempting to rebuild the mound that one of us had stepped on.

"Hn. They're just like them," I said softly, a small empty smile slipping on to my face. The rhythmic swinging of her legs slowed and then stopped as she finally noted my presence. After a moment, she spoke.

"Yeah, I guess so," she smiled softly and pushed some hair out of her eyes as she watched the small creatures attempting to rebuild the doorway to their home. She didn't ask who 'them" was, which I'm thankful for; I wouldn't have been able to answer. Though I suppose it had something to do with the blaring of distant sirens that had cause me to speak.

"It's strange," she said softly and shifted to look towards where the school had once stood with a small frown.

"What is?" my heart was beating wildly in my chest, an unknown fear setting me on edge.

"That we actually did it, that X-Day happened. When I first suggested it I was just…joking, I guess. And then when the idea began to grow, and that first meeting was planned…You know, I almost didn't go to the diner that day?"

"Really? Why not?"

"I don't really know. I guess part of me didn't really care enough to bother with blowing up the school, and that it'd just be easier if I was what ceased to exist."

"I know what you mean; going into that restaurant and actually admitting I was Mr. Money was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I almost pretended I was someone else, just there for lunch or whatever, and then leave, but something made me go to the table where we were meeting. And now…look where we are."

She laughed lightly. "And here I thought I was the only one who doubted it."

We simultaneously glanced at each other, our eyes meeting and causing both of us to have identical smiles of irony and contentment. We stayed that way for what seemed an eternity, before Polaris once again appeared with the man who not long ago had been Jangalian. Mr. Katano handed me the small duffle bag that I had often left at his apartment with a change of clothes and bundles of fireworks silently and then nodded stiffly at each of us before turning around and re-entering the apartment building. I stared at the too-light bag resting on my lap a moment and then dropped it onto the sidewalk, next to the bags belonging to Polaris and 11, which had been unceremoniously dropped by Polaris moments before.

The dark haired girl let out a sigh and sat down on the wall on the other side of 11.

"What's up with him?" 11 asked as she watched the apartment buildings glass door swing closed over her shoulder.

"I think he's gone into shock or something. Now that the school's gone, he doesn't know who he is anymore, so he's…shutting down," the dark-haired girl's voice was exasperated and she rolled her eyes heavenwards, as if in a silent prayer.

"Really? Then why was he acting normal before, back at the restaurant?" I asked, uncertain of her explanation.

"He was still Jangalian then," came the simple reply, "Now that the celebration's over, he isn't anymore. It's as if…"Jangalian" was just a character, and now that he's performed his scenes, he's not needed anymore."

"I get it…kinda," 11 said and then stretched, cracking her back as she raised her arms above her head. Sighing, she pushed herself from the wall and bent to pick up her bag. "I should be heading home; someone's bound to notice if I'm not there, eventually."

"Alright; that's probably a good idea," Polaris spoke as something within my throat tightened painfully, a noose that I could not see. "Good-bye, 11."

"Good-bye, Polaris, Mr. Money," the noose tightened with her reply. Polaris had spoken the farewell formally, and 11 had mirrored the tone. It was painfully obvious that this would be the last time we would be known by our screen names. Once we departed from the wall, we were each to become who we had been before. No, that wasn't right. We would bear the same names as we had once before, but we were not the same. The fire had changed us all.

"Good-bye," I managed to choke out before the noose tightened. The two were watching me expectantly, so I was obligated to attempt to get her soon dying name out, even though my voice could break before I even spoke. "11."

She looked at both of us for a few seconds, and then turned and walked down the street, as if we had been strangers she had bumped into on a morning walk. I couldn't help but watch until she disappeared from view, her hair still glowing gold in the morning light. When my attention returned to my surroundings, I found Polaris watching me openly, unabashed about staring.

"What?" I asked, slightly unnerved.

"Nothing really, just wondering which one of us will be the last." I knew there was more to it than that, but said nothing and turned my attention back to the small stream of grey still drifting above the horizon.

"This really doesn't seem real, does it?" I mused aloud.

"No, I suppose it doesn't. I doubt it will for a long time," she said softly, turning her eyes towards the horizon as well. "Who'd have thought that it would actually work? Now there's only one thing left to be seen; will the police find us?"

"I don't think so," I said lightly.

"Oh, and why won't they?"

"That isn't what I meant. I was referring to the 'one thing left' part. There's one more question that has to be asked."

"And that would be?"

"Who are we now?"

She grew silent in contemplation, and unconsciously began to run her fingers over an intricate lacework design on her skirt.

"Yes," she finally said. "That also needs to be asked."

A few moments passed in silence, and then I stood, picked up my bag and walked away. I couldn't bring myself to look back. Because I couldn't bring myself to really say good-bye. And because I didn't want to be the one who was left behind, alone. I never want to be alone like that again.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Ending Notes: Well, this is slightly shorter than the first chapter, but my brain is fried at the moment. Is it just mee, or is Jangalian really OOC? Eh, anyways, just as a reminder, this story is AU (Alternate Universe) so things are gonna be a lot different from how they were in the manga, but I think is should be easy enough to catch on to what I've messed with. The next chapter will be out eventually, and I do plan on finishing this story, unlike some of the others I have posted. So, please review and let me know what you think, and I might have more inspiration to continue.


	3. Third

Author's Notes (written before I lost access to my files): Well, well, it seems I've managed to create another chapter. Time to set lose the flying pigs! Though that might not be needed, seeing as how some of my readers from other categories are threatening to stalk me down, steal my password, and finish the damn things on their own. Anyways, mocking aside, here's the third chapter of this odd, rambling X-Day fan fiction of mine. Oh yea, did anyone like the idea I mentioned in chapter two? You know, the whole Reiichi attempting to get coffee thing. Let me know if you liked it or if just need to shut the hell up and work on my other stories.

Thanks to all of those that reviewed and please continue to support me as I try to juggle a ton of stuff at once. On a side note, I'm getting this out now because next week I get the opportunity to write a paper for my English class that has to be over 50 pages and turned in before Christmas break. Yay. Somebody please shoot me. It would be very appreciated. Whoever the hell said high school was easy never had to deal with the South Dakota school system.

Disclaimer: I don't anything of value…well, accept those blackmail photos…but that's a different story. So, as such, I have no claim to any characters, plot, items, events, and whatnot that may appear within this work of fiction.

This chapter's for **Faery Goddyss **because her comments and emails are always so encouraging and helpful. It's mainly her fault that there's a third chapter, so thanks!

Oh yeah…Random Announcement…well, quote from a friend: "You know, if he wanted to, Bill Gates could buy like every pair of pants in the world. As soon as someone would make a pair, he could buy them. And then we wouldn't have to wear pants anymore!"

Title: Feels Like Arcadia  
Chapter: Third  
Rating: PG-13  
By: Singe 

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

I used to dream in black in white, but I've never understood why. But now, I don't dream at all. Maybe I stopped dreaming when the school was destroyed. They never caught the culprits, but certainly not for a lack of effort. Eventually, the fire was termed accidental, and became just another faulty wiring job. I suppose the fire eventually destroyed any evidence that had been left behind.

It's been nearly two years since that day when someone worked up the nerve to actually destroy that hellhole; not that it really mattered in the end. After all, the students were just sent to a different school in the district. Some of the teachers were transferred and some were fired. There was only one who walked away, who got as far from this forsaken town as possible with the little money he had. No one really missed him anyways. He was just some single, solemn old man who gave too much homework.

I graduated from that second high school after a single, unremarkable year. During that time, I had no friends left; they had all graduated in some manner the year before. And I had no way of knowing where they were or how they were doing. In some manner that I can't remember, I ended up coming here, a small art school that feels hundreds of miles from home. Now only if I could remember where home is.

Anyways, back to dreams. The last dream that I can remember having was of my father, don't ask me why. But, even though I can't remember them, even though I don't want to dream, I suppose I still do. That is, if I can believe my roommate, a black haired guy named Satoru.

"Dude, I'm just saying that it's weird. You talk in your sleep all the time, but none of it makes any sense," Satoru said, typing madly away on him laptop as he talked, "Like last night, you said something about burying a hamster."

"What?"

"That's what I want to know. Like I said, it's kinda creepy."

A hamster, I thought. Why in the world would I be dreaming about a hamster, much less a dead one? Someone I used to know had a hamster and it died. I can't remember who it was but I guess that's probably what I was dreaming of.

"What the hell? A password?" Satoru muttered loudly, glaring at his computer screen. "Who the hell puts a password program on a chat room?"

"What are you ranting about now?" I asked, not really wanting to know.

"Someone sent me an email with a list of chat rooms, but the one I clicked on says I need to enter a password."

"Just enter a random one and see if it let's you in," I suggested, my attention slowly turning towards him.

A few sharp key taps and he swore. "Well, that didn't work. Got any other ideas?"

"Go to a different chat room," I stood and stretched. "I have a class soon, so I'm gonna head over. Don't break anything."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he sighed. "I guess you're right; I won't be getting into this one. What the hell kind of name is 'Ursa Minor' anyway?"

But I didn't hear him, not that time. I had closed the door before he had finished speaking.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Everyday is pretty much the same. College was really no change from high school, save for the fact that my mother isn't around to beat me. It's strange how quickly the scars have faded since I left. The only ones still really visible are those from the water and sakura. But I'm careful; no one here has seen them.

I go to class, do the assignments, go to work, and then back to the dorm. Sometimes Satoru will drag me out to parties and sometimes he'll just leave me alone. If I've learned anything about him, it's that it is better to just get whatever he wants over with than to try to ignore him. As such, I apparently now have a girlfriend who is studying fashion design. I have no idea how that happened.

Tonight, Satoru drags my supposed-girlfriend and me on a double date with him and some blonde girl I don't know too well. The club is busy, over crowded, and loud. The bodies are pressed together, glistening with sweat, dressed in bright colors. Someone turned on a smoke machine, and the stale air only becomes thicker, choking me as it gets stuck in my lungs. The flashing blue strobe lights are everywhere, devouring everything with each too-bright flash.

I need to get out.

I need to breathe.

I need…

"Dude, you don't look so good," Satoru is suddenly by my side, appearing from the wall of bodies effortlessly. "You wanna go outside for a minute?"

I nod. The wall is pressing in. Leaving would be nice.

Satoru presses through the crowd, walking hurriedly, but still as if the room were nearly empty. I've always envied him for that. The air outside feels blessedly cool; frigid enough to somewhat bring me back to my senses, but not completely. Leaning against the graffiti-coated wall of the building, I can't help but gag and cough, getting the last of the mix of human and machine, sweat and smoke, from my lungs.

Satoru said something about going to get the girls, and disappeared back into the club. I wasn't really paying much attention to him, my head is swimming, and my eyes had landed on a girl standing on the corner, under the streetlight. Her hair was long, strawberry-blonde. Her back is towards me. And yet, somehow…it's so familiar…she is… it has to be…Her.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

I don't remember anything after that thought; I suppose I passed out. Satoru says he and the girls found me lying on the ground, totally out of it, mumbling something that sounded oddly like "sparkle". He asked me if I knew what the hell had happened; I lied and claimed to not really know. The girl known as my girlfriend then declared that it must have been all of the smoke, and that is wasn't much of surprise that someone had collapsed because if we hadn't left she would have. You know, someday I suppose that I should at least try and find out what her name is…not that I really care.

Because She was there last night. I know that it was Her, standing under that lonely streetlight, gazing sadly upward, perhaps watching the petal-wings of the dirty white moths as they swarmed the light, trying to find a way in. Funny, I guess that's what all of us have been doing all along: trying to reach the light. It's been two years, but I would recognize that hair, that silhouette any wear, no matter the size of the crowed, no matter the swiftness of the moment. In that moment, She had been mere yards away, on a deserted early morning street corner.

Rika had been right in front of me. And I wasn't able to do anything. I couldn't reach her, couldn't see ice colored eyes, unable to so much as mutter Her name. Right in front of me, so god damned close. And Rika never knew I was there. Had never turned away from the moths fluttering so painfully delicate on the too artificial light. Or from the man whose arm was wrapped around her waist.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Ending Notes: Geez, that was short, inconsistent, and made little sense…looks like this chapter's done! Anyway, all comments are appreciated, so leave a review or send me an email to let me know what you think. Oh, and if the name of Yumihiko's roomate is weird...it's because I just pulled it out of nowhere. XD


	4. Fourth

Author's Notes: First of all, I have to apologize to everyone for how long this update took. I had no intention of waiting this long to post another chapter, but life got in the way and I was unable to find the time or motivation to work on almost anything not required. So, here we are again…update time. A lot of things have happened since I started this story about a year ago, and a lot of things have changed, including how I personally feel toward this fic. There is a part of me that thinks I should go back and delete everything but chapter one and leave it at that. Another part of me doesn't want to work on my summer AP assignments, so therefore, we have chapter four.

To the reviewers: I love you guys. Seriously. Of all the random things I have posted on and you guys have got to be the greatest bunch of readers I've ever managed to harass/coerce into reviewing. If it weren't for you guys, I doubt I'd be posting much of anything anymore.

Disclaimer: I still don't own X-Day or any other copyrighted, trademarked, or otherwise licensed things that may appear in this fanfic. Certain characters, events, placed, misc. things are my creation, however, so ask if you want to use them for some strange reason or if you want to post this story anywhere.

Random Note: My Dir en Grey cosplay group was in Animerica! But somehow I managed to wait until every issue in town was sold before deciding to buy one. My luck just sucks that way.

Oh yeah, I gave in and joined Gaia online, so if anyone feels like PM'ing me or whatever, feel free to at the username ryuukifenikkasu. Or if you feel like joining Gaia, feel free to use me as a referrer. .

Title: Feels Like Arcadia

Chapter: Fourth

By: Singe

Rating: PG-13 (T)

"Now there's something you don't hear about often," Satoru says from his position sprawled out on our small couch watching our even smaller television. "It must be a slow news day."

"What?" I ask distractedly, trying to quickly finish my homework for a class that should be starting in something like a half an hour. I really should start doing assignments sometime other then right before the class it's due in…and hey, is that my cell phone going off? Oh well, it's probably just what's-her-name, complaining about how I never take her anywhere, or to check if I was okay. She had been calling nearly every hour since we had forced her out of the apartment after I had regained consciousness.

"That school that was blown up a few years ago, you know that high school. It looks like they've decided to investigate it again," he says it lazily, disinterested, completely unlike how such a statement should be made.

"What? Why?" I demand, trying not to show how much the answer might matter. It's funny…this time yesterday, I could pretend it had never happened, that I had never been known as 'Mr. Money', that I had no part in the destruction of a public high school. And then my roommate dragged my ass out to some club, and then I saw Her. Now, X-Day is all I can think about.

"How the hell should I know?"

"…You're the one watching the news."

"Details, details. What's it matter to you anyway?" Satoru turned to look at me, a curious expression on his face.

"Oh, um…I used to go to the school that was destroyed," I pray he won't notice the hesitation.

"Really? I didn't know that. That's kinda cool, in a weird sort of way. Not many people have their high school burnt down…though I wouldn't mind going back and torching mine…hey, maybe that's what happened. People who graduated could have some back and lit the place up."

"It's possible, I suppose." Or three current students and a teacher could have done it. "Hey, look, it's some kind of press conference. Turn it up."

Satoru obliged, and the melodic, too-cheerful voice of the reporter drifted through the room.

"…the new Chief of Police, Arakawa Takaya-san." There was some shifting and flashing of cameras, as a grey-haired middle-aged man stepped up to a podium on a stage. My homework sat forgotten on our kitchen table as I moved to stand behind the couch and get a better view of the screen, distracted enough to miss the man's opening statements.

"Therefore, since the investigation was handled so poorly, it has been deemed in the public's best interest to re-open this case and do a more thorough and more accurate analysis of the events surrounding and leading to the destruction of a such a building, the building in particular being a school making it of the utmost importance. Coincidently, an anonymous tip has led to the collection of new evidence that will be key to any investigation involving this matter."

Satoru yawns and stretches loudly, and then turns the volume back down when the screen changed back to the anchorperson. Well, that was another horrible way to start a day. First realizing I haven't done my homework, and then finding out there's some police squad out for me and three people I haven't spoken to in a long time. _11_ _isn't that far away. You could find her, if you tried. You should try; you should have spoken to her then. But in any case, you have a reason to find her now, _a part of me whispers as I stare blankly at the screen.

"Well, you got your answer then," my roommate's voice breaks through the haze I've fallen into. "They have new evidence and this Arakawa guy thinks the last Police Chief dude let the whole thing be handled badly."

"Hn," I made an indiscriminate noise and moved to walk back to the homework and my neglected homework. Speaking of homework…

"Crap!" I shout, and dash forward and sweep my book, notebook and whatever else is on the table into my bag, and hurriedly rush to the door, slipping my shoes on as I go. Perhaps it was lucky that I now had something to distract my mind from the path it was currently trying to wander down.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Satoru asks, barely glancing at me as I run by his relaxed position on the couch.

"My class starts in five minutes and it's on the other side of the campus!" I shout as I struggle to slip a shoe on and zip my bag at the same time.

"Better hurry then," he turns back to the TV. "Oh, hey, what do you want me to tell Ayumi if she comes around looking for you?"

"…Who?" I ask, momentarily pausing to look at him, confused as to why someone named 'Ayumi' would be looking for me.

"You know, Ayumi. Your girlfriend," He sounds somewhere between annoyed and amused. His laptop had magically reappeared and he was typing away again. "And I still can't get into this damn Ursa Minor chatroom."

"Oh." So that's her name… "Just tell her I'm in class or working or something. I don't care." And with that, I dart out of the door and pray that somehow I can make it to class in time, momentarily ignoring his muttered statement.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

In the end, I wasn't on time. Luckily, neither was the professor, so I still managed to make it into the class and my seat before he was aware that I wasn't on time. Actually, I really shouldn't have bothered running, since he arrived about ten minutes after I did. Class was…well, class. It passed in bursts of speed and excessive boredom, kind of like high school but without the uniforms and the whole "plotting-to-blow-the-school-up" thing. When it was over, I left quickly, in hopes of avoiding my worried girlfriend whose name I had just learned, just in case she had decided to show up to check on me.

It was just about then, as I was glancing surreptitiously around to make sure Ayumi wasn't lying in wait to pounce on me, that the meaning of my dark haired roommate's statement hit me. He had stumbled upon the room, or at least a room with the same name. It was just too much of coincidence to not be the same chat room that the four of us had created ourselves in. The selves that we all had tried to leave behind, that we all were pretending never existed so that we could attempt to find someone, something else.

From inside my bag, my cell phone rang; blaring some mangled form of an old rock song that was muffled by the books and fabric currently covering it. Unconsciously, I dug it out and flipped it open, only to find notices of missed text messages. The majority of them were from Ayumi, a few from other people that I barely knew and whose faces I could not remember. But there, in the middle of the list, was a simple, anonymous note.

**_The stars are still connected, and so are we. _**

I stared at it mutely for a second, part of my automatically saying just to delete the it, pretend it was just a note left at a wrong number or by some weirdo. But also, a part of me knew that only one person would write something like that, and would purposely hunt my number down to make sure I alone got the message. Well, me and two other people. That part of me was remembering a shy, dark haired girl who became something completely different when not confined by the boundaries and barriers of our now destroyed school.

"Well, at least we know the password system is still active…" I muttered to myself. And then out of nowhere, my supposed girlfriend pounced, knocking me into a wall as she wrapped her arms around me, demanding to know why I hadn't called or returned her messages. I knew then, that things couldn't possible get weirder from that point.

So hours later, after escaping from what's-her-name's clutches, here I am. Sitting in some internet café, a cup of luke warm tea sitting to the side of the worn keyboard of my laptop, wondering what the hell I'm doing. I had decided that it would be best to do this from access point other than mine, just in case they somehow found Ursa Minor and could trace the computers through the access address. The screen in front of me is nearly blank, filled with only a small form, asking for a username and password. I've been staring at it for a good half hour, making no move to take the final leap. People are starting to give me odd looks…

"Sir? Are you alright?" one of the café workers asks, standing nearby.

"Oh, yeah," I answer and lick my suddenly dry lips. "I'm fine…everything's fine."

With a disbelieving look, they leave, and then I turn back to the computer, my hands finally moving to the keyboard. After a second, the screen changes, and a small banner appears.

**_Welcome, Mr. Money._**

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Ending Notes: Who else didn't like this chapter as much as the others? It doesn't seem to mesh that well with the previous chapters, but that could be because I wrote this in one day with little though of where I wanted to actually take the story or what I wanted to happen. Plus it is kind of short…Anyway, as always, all comments are welcomed and encouraged!

On a side note…any one feel like being a beta reader for me? It doesn't have to be all of my works, it can just be this one of you like…It would probably be a lot of help to the future of this story…


	5. Fifth

Author's Note: First off, I must apologize for the ridiculous amount of time between updates. I had no intention of letting it be this long, and I sincerely thought I had updated somewhat recently, only to log into my account and see that it's been nearly a year. My junior year of high school and my job took more time and effort then I imagined they would, leaving me with little time for any of my stories, but I assure you that even though I have a very full summer schedule as well, I have every intention of quicker uploads…and going back and fixing some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in previous chapters.

I'm forced to do a little experimenting with the chat room conversation, so please tolerate it for no, and give my any suggestions you might have.

To all the reviewers/people who sent my comments/readers: Thank you for all the continued support, comments, and critiques. Without it, I doubt I would have bothered to write the first chapter, much less the fifth.

Disclaimer: Own nothing to do with the series, only the plot and some of the random characters that show up in this twisted romp through my head.

Title: Feels Like Arcadia  
Chapter: Fifth  
Rating: T (honestly, it's probably lower than that…)  
Author: Singe 

**O**0**O**0**O**0**O**

The banner fades, and an animation begins to appear.

The loading graphic cycles, the stars of Ursa Minor appearing one by one, glittering, twinkling alone before eventually linking together briefly, only to disappear completely. How many times it repeats…I lose count, unable to keep focus on the too familiar screen in my current location, with the hustle and bustle around me, and the nosey waitress attempting to see the site I had finally entered. Glancing around, drumming my fingers restlessly, the animation begins again.

Suddenly, the screen goes blank, the final animation ending only moments before, and the door to Ursa Minor opens_. Seven times,_ I suddenly remember. It was some joke only Polaris seemed to understand, and one she had insisted remain, despite our complaints of wasted time. She might have explained it to Jangalian, I suppose. I don't really know…it's anyone's guess what they talked about when we (well...11 and I) weren't around.

There is only one other person in the room. I expect her, and yet I don't. Because this makes it all real, all solid, not just some old dream that reappears once in a while. Someone else knows, someone else shares nearly the same memories I possess, and somewhere, in the billions of people on the planet…there are others. Only two (such a painfully, pitifully small number, really) but they exist, they live they breathe, and somewhere they too know, they remember.

"Welcome, Mr. Money," she writes.

"Hello, Polaris." The two words are all I can manage, can think of, and seem to drown out the noise around me, the nearby waitress debating whether or not she cares enough to see what I'm doing to offer a refill of my now ice cold tea, and even the very building seems to fade away. She and I, and a small white room that doesn't even exist are all the world consists of.

"It's been a long time. The others haven't come yet," she writes, and then almost carefully adds, "Jangalian won't be, most likely."

For some reason, my mind refuses to make sense of her words, and my hands rapidly begin to type, without my conscious consent.

"Why is there sometimes a password?" I ask, my mind apparently latching onto my roommate's fumbling attempts to access the room, trying not to think of whom else could walk into the room and the conversation at any moment.

"Haha…that? I said before, the room is closed to anyone but the four of us. Anyone else will just be repeatedly asked for a password that doesn't exist until they give up.

Why? Did you forget your name?"

My name, her face, the sound of Jangalian's voice, the feel of 11's hand. Not long ago, it was all gone. But how to say that, how to admit such small things, so crucial, had fled from my mind for so long?

"No, nothing like that…I just saw someone else try to get in the other day." It's better to not admit, to pretend, that things haven't changed, that it hasn't been years since we spoke. Then my mind finally process what she had said. "Wait...what about Jangalian?"

"You saw the news conference the other day, right?" she asks and continues before I reply. I doubt there's anyone in town that hasn't seen or heard about the conference. "Well, they haven't released any real information, or anything official, but…they're watching him. Jangalian's being watched by the police. So, we thought it best he stay clear of Ursa Minor and the rest of us until they decide they won't get anything from him."

"Why are they following him? He was a teacher there…he's the least likely of any of us." My heart had nearly stopped in my chest. No. _No. _They can't know, not after all this time. I had finally moved on, moved away, and started to somehow feel not so trapped. _That's a lie_, a voice in my head whispered, _the only time you don't feel trapped is when you're here, with them. It has nothing to do with your "life"._

And if Jangalian…if any of us is caught, then my cage only grows stronger.

"I don't know for sure…Right now, we're hoping they just noticed he had tried to resign not long before X-Day and that they don't have anything solid."

"We?" Has she been in contact with him? Or even…11? There is no reply for several long seconds, and then a short message appeared.

"Well, you see…"

Another pause.

"That is…"

And another.

Wait a minute, it couldn't be. Polaris is…embarrassed? Oh, holy hell, the world is ending.

"…I've kept in touch with Jangalian."

"That's it? Why did it take you so long to say that?" There's nothing too odd about that…well, besides the fact he was once our teacher and as such, years older than either of us. Why is she embarrassed?

"Alright, fine. We live together."

Holy shit. Didn't see that one coming.

"Do the police know?" I manage to get out, my mind still not able to wrap completely around the situation. I knew they were close once upon a time, but for them to be living together, especially after all this time…all this time I thought we were all alone. Because, all this time I've been alone. It hurts somehow, knowing the two were together, and possibly had been since what I thought was the end. And I…I was still by myself. And, somewhere, just maybe… 11 was as well.

"They might…but they probably don't know who I am. I'm staying at a hotel now, since it lowers the chance of them realizing who I am and that I was a student at Teisho when he was a teacher."

That makes sense, well as much sense as any of this mess does. Honestly, how did we end up here...like this? It started as a chat in a school-run room, and it led to the meeting of four vastly different people, and the eventual destruction of the earlier mentioned school. And here we are now, two years later, attempting to begin a cover-up that should have been done ages ago. Or something…I'm not exactly sure why I was called back, since it seems like Polaris has everything under control.

"My turn to ask something," she writes, the pauses for a moment before continuing to type. "Why did you—"

Her question is abruptly cut off as a small system message cuts across the screen and into my very core, freezing everything.

** 11 has entered the chat room. >> **

"—send that message?" Polaris finished her sentence. There is barely a pause before she adds "Hey, 11!"

For the second time today, in only a few minutes (minutes? It's only been a few minutes? Then why does it feel as if hours have passed…?) my mind is numb, disconnected, and uncomprehending. 11 was there, in Ursa Minor. She is so close, just through a small screen and some wires, less than arms length through cyberspace. And so far away, a distance as great as it had been in that first, anonymous meeting, just as far from me as she had always been. With someone else. I can't think, can't even manage to type a response to the greeting aimed at both of us.

Polaris told her to read over our conversation, so nothing we've covered will have to be repeated, unknowingly buying my befuddled mind precious moments to clean away the haze of surprise and pain…well, to clear them enough to greet her.

A few minutes pass before Polaris, seemingly impatient, types, "Well?"

'Well what?" I ask back, my mind deciding to pretend my heart was not beating rapidly and my mouth had not gone dry.

"Answer the question."

"I'm curious, too." 11 writes when I make no effort to respond, slightly confused. Question? Oh, that's right…Polaris had been asking something back when, well, before 11 had become within a small, virtual distance away. "Why did you send that text message? We'd all be here eventually, thanks to the news conference thing."

"What message? I didn't send either of you a message…I don't know the numbers you have now." Wait, it couldn't be. I quickly pull out my own phone and find the note, which had led me back to the room. It was easy to find, since all the others had been deleted, most of them unopened. If the two of them had received the same thing….

I quickly ask, "Was this it?" and then copy the words from the cell phone's screen.

They both respond affirmatively.

"I didn't send it. I got it too, and thought it was from Polaris."

"No, it wasn't me…11?"

"Not me either. Could it have been Jangalian?"

"I doubt it…he wouldn't have bothered to send it to me, and would have told me if he had. He might have gotten it too."

Oh, crap. Just what I need now, more stress and the chance that someone else knows. About the chat room, about us, about X-Day. Then, just as the tension becomes nearly unbearable, there is a tap on my shoulder and a too cheerful inquiry wanting to know if I would like a refill.

The waitress is smiling at me, but her eyes are drifting to the screen. Automatically, I slam the laptop closed, not considering how odd the action may seem, and then politely attempt to tell her to mind her own business and that no, I do not need a refill. What use could I have for caffeine, with so much adrenaline already flooding my system?

By the time she takes the hint and actually leaves and I open the laptop again…11 seems to be mercilessly teasing Polaris. After a minute, I can't help but join in, and things seem just as they should be, just as they used to be, if only Jangalian were here. But, a part of me can't help but continue to worry over the text message we had all received, but apparently none of us had sent.

We talked for hours, hours that pass almost too quickly, with little mention of the darker times we all are likely to face in the not so distant future. Before I knew it, the same nosey waitress from before was cautiously clearing her throat nearby, preparing to tell me the café was closing. 11 and Polaris had left just moments before.

I shut my computer down before she got the words out, and quickly slipped the slender laptop into its' carrying case as I stood, the action comfortable, familiar. Just like talking with Polaris (and after a while, 11) had been. Leaving the café, I realize just how long I've been inside, submerged in a world far away from crowded streets and a setting sun. It's dark out now, but it doesn't really matter, since the sky isn't visible through the neon glow of streetlights and signs, and the fake fireflies of headlights.

Wandering slowly through the nighttime crowd, I make my way toward my apartment, in no rush to return to Satoru's sarcasm-borderline-stupidity and a girl I don't even know who thinks she somehow owns me.

Waiting at a crosswalk for the light to change, I shake the hair out of my eyes. Maybe it's time for a cut, since it's starting to get so long…and then I see her. 11 is standing on the other side of the street, just as the other night. But this time, she is alone. And this time…She is watching me.

**O**0**O**0**O**0**O**

**Ending Note: **Alright, I know it's short, but at least I got something out, and there is some actual plot development. As always, reviews and comments are loved. And feel free to hurt me if it takes my nearly another year to update again, as I have no intention of taking so long again.


	6. Sixth

Author's Note: So I've been so busy lately I just haven't had the time to do the things I need to do, much less the things I want to do or will soon need to do. Like work on studying for AP Tests, which are quickly sneaking up to bite me in the ass since I've been sick and swamped with school stuff lately.

Anyway, seeing as I've been sick it's given me time to sleep and illegibly scribble in a notebook another chapter of this angsty little romp through the X-Day universe. Yay. Thanks to those of you who are still reading and much love to those of you who bother to review.

So now I present the (apparently) much-anticipated reunion of Mr. Money and 11.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything beyond some random original characters, blah blah blah…where did my panda go?

Title: Feels Like Arcadia

Chapter: Sixth

Rating: T…or something

Author: Singe

0**o**0**o**0**o**0

_Footsteps echoing off the linoleum floor, reverberating through the metal lined hallways._

_Click._

_One more door closed._

_Click. Click. _

_And another and another._

_Slam._

_The door of the administration office swings shut with a bang that resounds throughout the building. There is the click-clack of heals on fake marble, a laugh, a scratching noise._

_An explosion to end everything._

0**o**0**o**0**o**0

We watched each other for a long time—minutes, hours, whatever—simply staring, searching from across the intersection. People and cars came and went, but neither of us moved or broke the contact formed when our eyes had met.

11. 11. 11. _Rika._

Here, now, alone. As out of reach as she'd ever been, but still close, still watching me. And I could not move, could barely breathe.

She began to cross the street toward me, eventually. I automatically moved to meet her and we met in the middle of the intersection. To anyone else, the meeting would have been inconsequential. Two people who once went to the same school nearly colliding in the rush to beat the cross light. But to us…to me…it meant something.

Because we stopped.

Because we watched.

Because we smiled, together.

Because…it was 11.

0**o**0**o**0**o**0

"Do you ever wish…" she trailed off and spun the stir stick around her drink determinedly.

Yes. I wish a lot of things: that I could have spoken up, that the four of us had remained together, that the four of us had always been together, that the woman sitting across from me in this hole in the wall diner was as close to me, as familiar to me, as I liked to pretend. I wish we were simply here together; another anonymous college couple, cramming for an exam and sneaking glances at one another over notebooks and coffee cups.

"What?" I ask instead of saying so many other things.

"Do you ever wish you had died in the fire?" I know the surprise is written on my face. She barely glances at me for a second before dumping another packet of sugar into her already saccharine saturated tea before carrying on.

"I mean...I know something happened that night, something beyond the obvious. We were all changed…Jangalian shut down, you got too quiet, Polaris just worried more…and I guess I went a little bit crazy. But do you ever stop and think 'what if that had been it? What if X-Day really had ended everything?'"

"Occasionally," I answer, though the thought has never occurred to me until now.

"If you think about it…has anything really changed? Sure, we're older and out of that school, away from those people, but how different is the preset from the past?"

The thin plastic stick, released from her fingers, was still pulled along by the circular current within the cup.

"Sometimes it does feel like a dream. Like, one day I'll wake up and the memories will be gone or all of it will have been some strange, long dream." I finally answer, entranced by the stir-stick and it's repetitive ballet. I'm unsure of what she wants to hear, to know, but aware of what I've felt.

The liquid and its passenger are coming to rest.

Rika gently rests her forehead on the table.

I barely catch her whisper.

"Sometimes, I still want to be burned away."

My cell phone rings, the fever-pitch melody of the song alerting me to my roommate on the other end. He chose the song and programmed it himself one day when I was sleeping…and I've never been more grateful to know him. Because I don't know if I was meant to hear her, and if I was, I don't know how to respond.

"Hello, Satoru," I mutter after digging the phone out of my bag.

"…How'd you know it was me?" he genuinely sounds confused…as he does half the time he calls my phone.

"You programmed that stupid song into my phone, remember? That and a little thing called caller ID."

"Oh yea, right. Forgot about that. Anyway, you know how we were talking about that school earlier? Well, get this: someone just went after the main building here on campus. The administration office is just like…gone. And some of the classrooms are totally trashed."

"What?!" Why is this happening? Why now, why when the police are starting to dig up the past? And why the hell does it have to happen where I go to school, a place small enough that they might notice a kid who went to the high school that was blown up?

"Yea, just thought I'd give you a heads up before you tried to come back to the apartment. There are cops and firefighters everywhere, checking for more explosives I guess. Doing searches of everyone who tried to enter or leave campus, too. Or at least that's what I heard. Oh and—"

"Yumihiko-kun!" A loud female voice cuts Satoru off, and I inadvertently wince and pull the phone away from my ear. 11 is watching me, a curious expression on her face. "Is it really you? Oh, I was so worried about you since no one knew where you were and you have class near that building and—"

"Why would he be there this late at night, Ayumi?" I hear Satoru comment in the background, sounding annoyed. Chances are she's been at the apartment since the explosion happened, and he has only so much tolerance for her. Not to mention the comment was a not-so subtle hint to me as to who was babbling in my general direction. I'll give him credit for that…if nothing else, he gets I couldn't be more disinterested in her.

"How should I know?" she snaps back. "It's not like he ever tells me anything or where he's going…" Great. Now it sounds like she's about to cry.

"I'm fine, Ayumi-chan." I manage to say before she starts to outright sob. "Listen…it's late. Why don't you go home and get some sleep and I'll see you in class tomorrow?" I really hope classes are cancelled. An overemotional girl is perhaps the last thing I need at the moment.

"Oh…okay," she agrees hesitantly. There is some shuffling noise and then a mutter from Satoru as he takes back his phone. I can hear his breathing, but it's a moment before he speaks.

"Man, whatever you said to her worked. She calmed down and left…two things I've been trying to do all night. Don't know why she's so freaked out…so far they haven't found any bodies."

He keeps talking but I stop paying attention. Rika is still sitting across from me, determinedly staring at her tea with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Anyway, just be careful, okay?" Satoru's voice slowly tunes back in. "Not to sound like your mom, but don't stay out too late. Now is probably not the time to be doing anything even remotely suspicious."

"Yea, I understand. I'll see you later."

"Okay…Bye."

There is a click and the call ends, followed after a pause by the usual incessant beeping. I close my phone and lay it on the table next to my drink, and simply stare at it a while. Maybe she has something to say now. Maybe she doesn't. Either way I need more time to think of how to pass on this news. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours…the return to the chat room, reuniting with the one person I simultaneously wanted to see and to avoid the most in the world. And now someone had apparently blown up one of the campus buildings. Brilliant.

"Who was that?" she asks softly, still not looking at me.

"My roommate…and…" I'm not sure how to describe Ayumi. Friend? Daily annoyance? Girlfriend? To anyone else, I would have simply said the latter, just to keep said girl happy…but with Rika, it was hard to tell what she would think. She had known me well enough to see through everything before…could she still do so now?

"And? It sounded like a girl…" she begins to stir her tea again.

Suddenly, I think of that night outside the club. Of standing outside and seeing her. Seeing her with some guy's arm wrapped around her waist. And my decision is made.

"Oh, it was my girlfriend."

I may regret this. I may not. Either way, it gets her to at least glance away from her tea to look at me. Then she goes back to stirring before she speaks.

"Is something wrong? She sounded upset."

Around and around the liquid swirls.

"It looks like…we aren't the only ones who believe in X-Day," I say softly, conscious of the few other patrons in the diner and the waitress who looks more than ready to go home.

Swish swish. The spinning is slowing.

"A building at my school was bombed earlier," I continue, knowing I now have her complete attention. Of course, now is one of those times I don't know what to do with it. All I really want right now is to sleep and to wake up to the night the four of us separated. And then keep it from happening.

"You are never as alone as you think you are," she says with a cryptic smile, finally looking me in the eyes. "If I learned anything from what happened, it was that. Too bad I never bother to practice what I preach, you know?" She gives a little self-derisive laugh.

"Umm…sure," I answer, not entirely certain of what she wanted to hear at this point. God, it's so much easier to talk to her when she's nothing but disembodied words in a chat room, not sitting across from me and seemingly almost as awkward with the entire situation as I am.

"We're going to have to be careful from now on. Very careful…maybe even more so than back in high school…this reinvestigation and now your college being hit are going to cause a lot of things to be dug up." She finally turns back to the subject at hand.

"Yea, I know. Things are going to get bad very quickly. Especially if they are already keeping track of Jangalian, like Polaris said. There isn't really anything that connects the four of us together—"

"That was part of the plan," she interjects.

"—but who knows what will happen if they have enough to get any one of us. In any case, we need to keep contact to a minimum, at least offline. I think Ursa Minor is secure enough we can still use it without it being noticed, as long as we aren't constantly on it and don't say anything to connect our usernames to our real names."

"That's probably a good idea. We need to keep living our lives as they've been, for the most part…any sudden change with you would be especially noticed."

"Yes, it probably would be. Especially if there are as many cops around the campus as Satoru says there are."

"Who?"

" Huh? Oh, the roommate. His name is Satoru."

"Alright," she fidgets slightly, and then leans back in her seat. "It's late."

"It is." I don't make any move to leave or to encourage her to leave. After a while of silence and her continued shifting, I ask, "Is there somewhere you need to be?"

"No…well, yes…but it's not too important…"

"You just said a moment ago that we need to act normally. So do what you have to do. And so will I."

"I…I suppose you're right." Rika isn't looking at me again.

"Besides, it sounds like I need to get back home before the place is put on lock down."

I don't want to leave, and something tells me neither does she. But no matter how much we'd like to pretend otherwise, this is not either of our lives. We do not really know each other anymore. We do not have a future involving the other, we can't if things keep going down the road they are. And in any case, we are only here to attempt to bury our past. I do not want to go. I want to pretend just a little longer. I want to stay in this dingy diner, in a worn booth, playing make believe forever.

Instead, we simultaneously stand, picking up coats and bags and cell phones. We leave out money on the table, separately. We stand face to face outside for a moment, examining and remembering. And then turn and walk away in different directions. There is no good-bye, or at least, none of the verbal sort. Because if nothing else, the maelstrom quickly forming around us will perhaps allow us (hell, maybe even all four of us) to meet at least once more.

And for now, that is enough.

0**o**0**o**0**o**0

**Ending Note: **So there you go, chapter six. A little short, but not bad considering half of it was written when I was sick and the other half when I was dead tired. Owing to the latter, I think the interaction between Yumihiko and Rika are a little random, but for now they are good enough. Might come back to mess with this chapter later.

Anyway, as always, please read and review. It might keep me sane during my last month of high school.


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